Suz' advice worked! A while ago I sent a general e-mail to mum, dad, B and A letting them know what our summer holiday plans were (pretty much going nowhere for various reasons). Then recently when I had to have an operation I sent an SMS to let them all know how the op went, and he called.A couple of days ago he sent an e-mail telling me that B had visited (!). SHE didn't tell me anything about that. We're skilled communicators, we are... But that's great! Things are normalising. And of course he really likes her. How could he not; she's my (I know, I should say 'our', but it's hard to get used to) sister! And the best sister anyone could have.
So we're back in touch. I feel hopeful.
7 comments:
congrats. hope it continues to go well. you clearly both want to know each other...just need to respect each others feels and need for boundaries. i hope things continue to go well.
hugs. hope you feel better soon.
Thanks, Suz! I feel great, actually. And I'm really pleased that things are normalising here. I can't see any reason to exclude him at all and hopefully I was wrong in my interpretation of his feelings and his reasons for the prolonged silence.
Thanks for your support! You've been a true friend and just what I needed. You deserve a great big hug and I hope one day I get the chance to give you that.
sometimes we adoptees get so tied up in our own worries and fears of rejection that we let the important stuff slide by, just like every other human being. We all (adopted or not) should take Suz' advice and just let those people who are important to us know that we are thinking of them. Congrats on taking that step and warm wishes on this journey.
Thanks wraith!
I understand the fear of rejection. We all experience it to a greater or lesser degree in other walks of life too. It's always painful to deal with, whether one is rejected or rejects.
But I think bro and I will do well this side of the planet. Best of luck in your own search! I'll be rooting for you.
Dear halfsister, admire your courage and honesty. Good luck.
Hello - I came here by way of wraith's blog - I wanted to say how much I appreciate the thoughts youve been sharing in this blog. I am an adoptee faced with wanting to contact my half-brother because I know his mother hid the secret of my existence from me...and having an only child myself and knowing how lonely they feel at not having siblingss, I often wonder if I shouldnt at least say something.
Anyway, its good to know what "the other third" is thinking and I hope it instructs me in how to handle things with compassion and understanding.
best,
Hi Sharon! Thanks for your comment. When I first started blogging about this I was on the lookout for other siblings that had been found by their brothers and sisters that had been given up for adoption. I could find none. (So if you find any others, let me know!) Since I couldn't find any myself I thought I'd add my voice to the crowd and try to describe the various ups and downs I went through myself.
I don't know how average my reactions are, but suspect I am quite normal. If you find support and encouragement in what I have written I'm very pleased.
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