And I could end this post right here. I said it all. Ok, a little more. I sent him an e-mail suggesting we meet each other half-way. I received an e-mail in return telling me he was a little too busy to make the trip, followed by an outline of the many things that were bogging him down (not really necessary, I'm rarely upset by a simple 'no'). But he also write a small PS that his wife was mumbling something about a weekend trip to W (where I live) in the course of the autumn.I'd love for them to come here. But as we have never met, should I also offer to have them stay with me? Would that be too intense for a first meeting? I can talk with A on the phone and feel totally at ease but I know from B's description that as types we are rather far apart and I worry that we might experience a lot of awkward silenced that I, being who I am, may attempt to fill with slightly hysterical noise and say lots if idiotic things.
Oh well. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now I'll just get myelf back into the swing of things -- you know, work and all that. And then we'll see. :-)
4 comments:
Honestly, it sounds as if he really does want to meet but the timing was just bad; hence the detailed itinerary. (translation: justification of his "no.") It also sounds like that is why he offered to come visit you if & when they are in your "neck of the woods". A peace offering if you will to make up for his no & the guilt he feels for having to say it.
I would DEFINITELY not let him stay with you. Too much pressure for a first visit. I would suggest meeting somewhere neutral for a meal & maybe show him the town you live in if he's not been there before. Maybe a park or something too? After meeting, you can better gauge the situation & get a feel of how you would get along. If things went well then maybe offer them to stay next time. Especially if they have children they are planning on bringing along. (If there are any?)
I know he wants to meet. And I know he was justifying why just now was a bad time and I have no problems with that. I certainly don't expect him to jump when I say jump! :-D
Thanks for your advice. I agree; inviting them to stay is too much the first time. They may bring the youngest - the one that would be my nephew. Between A and his wife they have three; two are hers from a previous marriage and the third child they have together.
Well it sounds like you have a good handle on things. It is just so frustrating that once we finally are ready to take that leap & "just go for it" the timing isn't right on the other end. Hang in there; you've made it this far! :-)
We'll get there. There's no reason why not. But I find it sad that dad is still ashamed. I can't change his feelings, but I really wish I could.
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