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About Me
- halfsister
- The half sister of the half brother that turned up out of nowhere.
There are many adoptees that write about being adopted, being rejected by their birth family, being snubbed by those in charge when trying to find family. I am the little sister who was found. The one who thought she knew her dad.
The one who at the age of 40 suddenly has a half brother more than ten years older than her.
My secret?
I'm not sure I wasn't better off not knowing.
The one who at the age of 40 suddenly has a half brother more than ten years older than her.
My secret?
I'm not sure I wasn't better off not knowing.
2 comments:
Been a while since I have been on the adoption sites. And I closed my blog cause I was ranting too much for my own good. After over a year of intense therapy for PTSD I am past a lot of the pain and feeling close to like a normal person again. I had never really grieved for the three relatives I lost so young until this past year.
So today I was going back to some old haunts, so to speak, and lo and behold, there was your funny picture!!! And posted today! Perfect!
By the way, I met my secret "half-brother" this summer. Well, he is really a nephew if you recall my bizarre family set-up with my bio-half-brother raising me as his own daughter because my birth parents died when I was a baby. I called him "Daddy" as his own kids did and always thought of him as my father. My "nephew" (bio half-brother's love child) didn't know he was adopted until a relative of his adoptive mother gave it up on her death bed when he was in his 50's!
Our meeting worked out great! He is so much like my half-brother in looks,tone of voice, mannerisms, and even humor. It was like going back in time and being with my "father" again. Very strange but also very healing.
I was nervous to tell him of our true biological relationship (he thought I was a half-sister) but when I did (after a few drinks and over dinner) he just laughed and said then he'd have to call me "Auntie"! We met half-way between our two homes, so neutral territory. That worked out very well and I would advise the same if at all possible. We stayed in the same chain hotel(two nights). It also happened to be a tourist area so had great restaurants, quaint shops, a summer art fair going on etc. We and our spouses got along great and really connected with each other very quickly. A lot of easy laughter and story-telling! We are planning another "reunion" next year. It will probably be near where we both grew up (though in separate "adoptive" families). Anyway, I feel we are lucky to have found each other, though some regrets for so much time wasted due to other people's deceptions and hang ups. The secrecy is so damaging to all involved.
How wonderful to hear from you! And even more wonderful to hear of your reunion with your half-brother/nephew...
I realised early that you closed access to your blog and really missed it. I thought perhaps you had been given a lot of stick for it -- not everybody deals well with other people's honesty. But your reasons are your understandable and I'm glad to see the new optimism in what you write.
I agree totally with you and will take your advice for meeting A on neutral ground as and when we manage to get our acts together. I still suspect we don't have a great deal in common but would rather have than confirmed face to face than not meet him at all.
My parents came to visit last month, and one day while mum had a nap, dad and I had a beer and chat about this and that. Suddenly A rang, and dad was really surprised. I could only tell him that A rings at regular intervals (a few months between each call) and I think that is really nice. I am an e-mailer myself. Dad didn't say that much. I still think it's a sore point with him that he's not perfect. At the same time he's also relieved that the world didn't end when we found out about his firstborn. :-)
Thanks for commenting and telling me your news!
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